I Need a Pilot
by CrazyRopeDragon
Summary: Finn struggles against the shackles of his coma, reliving defining memories, and imagining what could be.
"You need a pilot."

"I need a pilot."

Finn's mind struggled greatly against something. He wasn't quite sure what. Things were dark and blurry, but he could just about make out the severely beaten and tortured resistance pilot in front of him. This had already happened. He had been on a First Order ship and had escaped with a pilot by the name of Poe Dameron. He remembered so distinctly that Poe was the first person to ever look him in the eye. The first person to see him as a person.

"Why are you helping me?" Poe had looked confused, but grateful. The way his mouth curled at the corner in something akin to a smile. His wry sense of humour working even then after his thorough torture. Kylo Ren had broken him. But he had smiled at him. Him. FN 2187. That was the first smile Finn had ever seen. It was the first time Finn had felt something besides fear. He felt excited. He had felt a warmth spreading through him that had stayed with him with every new person he met.

Finn felt that struggle again. As though there was something very heavy sitting on his chest. He had to get up. He had to get up to protect Rey. Kylo Ren was going to kill her.

"We will see each other again…" Rey's voice echoed around him. He struggled all the more. He had to get to her. She couldn't leave! He tried to speak out, to shout for her. But her voice echoed all around him and he was alone in the darkness again. Some distant part of his mind knew that there was something terribly wrong with him. Everything was jumbled up. It was all an absolute mess. He suddenly felt a jolt and he was surrounded by Stormtroopers in a ground ship. Finn looked around him through the eyeholes of his helmet. He felt a sense of panic rising in him. He didn't want to be here anymore. He couldn't do this. The drop ship opened up, and the first Stormtroopers who leapt from the vessel were cut down immediately. It was chaotic. There were blaster bolts everywhere. The next thing he could remember was watching another Stormtrooper die, smearing his blood on FN 287's helmet. And there was Poe Dameron.

His memory jolted again. Poe Dameron. Finn watched him step down from his x-wing. Watched him stoop to greet his astromech. Watched him stand straight and look at him. The man who had named him Finn ran to him. He threw his arms around him. All Finn could remember right now was Poe's arms. The smell of engine oil from him, along with a distinctive musk. His warmth. The pilot's voice in his ear. How he had looked at Finn when he told him to keep his jacket. Finn struggled again against the heavy weight on his chest.

"And… I never got to thank you. For saving me. So you gotta wake up. So I can thank you properly. Come on man, you don't make it through all of that just to die." That was Poe's voice. Finn struggled to open his eyes, to reach out to where he thought the voice was coming from. He tried to form words. He tried to speak out to Poe. But he couldn't. He couldn't see anything. He was spiralling into panic again. Was he dying? He heard distant beeping and shouting. The weight on his chest got heavier. This was it. He was dying. He tried to grasp for something in the darkness, desperate not to be extinguished from this world. Not now that he had his freedom. He had himself now. His efforts were weakening, but with one last mighty effort, he threw off some of the weight. The beeping and shouting quieted.

His mind was taking him to places he had never been. Bright verdant worlds with lush green forests. Cool blue pools of water. Poe Dameron, laying on lush green grass, his hands behind his head basking in the sunlight. Finn thought he saw Poe laughing, but no sound came. This was incredibly frustrating. The images jumped, and Poe was much closer now. Finn could smell the engine oil and musk. He could see that gentle smile on his lips. He felt their skin connecting, Poe's lips on his. This confused Finn. He had thought that if he was going to dream about anyone this way it would be Rey. But there he was, making out with Poe in his dreams. Was it a dream? Had he actually died? Finn refused to believe the old tales of dying and going to heaven. That would be such a cliché.  
"I need to thank you properly." Poe's voice said. Finn felt Poe's soft hair between his fingers. Suddenly the light disappeared and he was on that snowy planet again. Star Killer Base. He briefly saw the red blade of Kylo Ren. He felt the white hot flash of pain on his back. He roared in pain, and found himself back in the resistance base. He was sitting up on a bed screaming, with Poe fighting to push him back down.

"CAN I GET SOME HELP OVER HERE! Come on Finn, lie down! You're safe! You made it!" Poe continued to fight against him. But by hearing his own voice cry out, he knew he was back. He clung to Poe's arms, pain and fright wracking his body. "Buddy. You're back. You're back. I'm here. It's okay." Finn gazed up at the pilot, grateful to be shot of the nightmare. Poe was here. He had him. He was going to be okay.


End file.
